I'm important

...and you're not!
So please be advised that I will attack you if you stand in my way! I will most probably use a cell phone, golf clubs, a hand bag or my car keys, since my hands are far to important to be wasted on you.

Story:
US Congress woman Cynthia McKinney has (of course) a good explanation why she punched that pesky cop who didn't know who she was.

The important person (sorry) very important person - was on her way to a very important meeting with some very important people, to discuss some very important issues.

Source

Tools of the trade

Fighting unarmed? When you have golf clubs and cutlery?
It seems you don't need an iron fist when you have a 9-iron.

Story:
(The 65-year-old grandmother) threw a handful of silverware at her grandson's friend, the report said, apparently in retaliation for an earlier encounter with a golf club.
It seems the boy at whom all that cutlery was aimed had accidentally struck his friend with the iron.

Source

Golf war

How about taking up some exercise instead?
You know... like golf?
It's reportedly good for relieving stress.

Story:
A 47-year-old Tempe man was arrested Friday morning and charged with aggravated assault. The suspect allegedly hit a man in the back with a golf club during a physical fight.
The suspect was found to be in possession of the golf club, police reported. The suspect reportedly told police he hit the victim with the club in self-defense.

Source